Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Bringing up Boys

I have been watching a series of DVDs by Dr. James Dobson- Bringing up Boys to catch a glimpse on how to handle boys, in particular Ryan as he thinks he's the king in the house and is able to manipulate all of us. This puts us in a very difficult position as we're not one who likes caning our kids, but on the other hand, firmly believes that the rod should not be spared if the situation warrants.

In Bringing Up Boys, Dr. Dobson covers many aspects of raising boys, such as the biological differences between males and females, the role of fathers and mothers in the lives of their sons, and the ill effects of postmodernism and socialism. Likely, however, the most controversial issues he covers are the feminist movement and both parents working outside the home.

During the feminist movement, proponents tried to convince society that boys and girls were the same, except for their reproductive systems, and should be treated and raised in exactly the same manner. Unfortunately, our culture eventually welcomed that concept with open arms. We were told to treat our girls more like boys and our boys more like girls. A majority of us started believing boys and girls should act the same, play with the same toys and have the same interests. Even today, masculine qualities are thought of as bad and undesirable. In many commercials, television shows and movies, the men are portrayed in a very negative way, and in many instances, the 'stupid guy'.

Dr. Dobson also feels only one parent should have a career during the child rearing years. He says "It is my conviction that those who choose to bring a child into the world must give that boy or girl highest priority for a period of time. In a very short time, they will be grown up and on their own." We only have a short time with our kids to teach and model, so they will develop a solid mental and spiritual foundation that will last their lifetime. Although there could be extenuating circumstances for both parents to work, somehow if we love our kids so much, we should make sure that our priorities in life are right. He also stressed that it is important for the dad to be around the boys during the formative years, being the role model to ensure that rules are set, relationships are built and to be the spiritual leader in the house.

It seems that with every generation, our culture gets worldlier. The focus used to be more on God and family, but has increasingly become more about what is good for each individual and who cares about everyone else. Our kids are depending on us to help them learn about God and how they should live their lives. Their trust and faith depends on it and we cannot fail them.

Monday, February 16, 2009


We brought Jaden to see the consultant opthalmologist, Datuk Dr. Ramani at Pantai hospital last Saturday. We were concerned because Jaden rubs his eyes frequently and blinks his eyes while watching TV. Apart from that, he does not have any discharge or redness.

When the Dr. attended to Jaden, I was surprised that he told my son to read the alphabets on the chart, like those practiced by normal optician. I was thinking...if you're doing this, might as well I bring my son to an optician. After a few tries, the dr. gave up. My son wasn't cooperative and consistent with his answers.

Next, the nurse checked his eyes with the machine below. Again, the machine can be found in all those opticians' shops. How frustrating! Is this all you can do ah doc?!

I think Jaden pretty well behaved himself by standing in front of the machine patiently, even though it was difficult to get him to focus on the object. What can you expect - he's only a lil kiddo! But no, the nurse and doctor said he wasn't cooperative! They got the reading of the left eye but not the right.

We waited for a while and then the nurse dilated Jaden's eyes. Waited another 15 mins before the dr. did a manual test. Hah, finally we could see the specialist at work! I couldn't really tell what the dr. was testing as I was trying to keep Jaden still and making sure his chin rest on the holder. I saw some flashing of different lights and horror of horrors, she suddenly pulled Jaden's right eyelid really hard. The boy screamed his lungs out and before I knew it, the procedure ended.

Verdict : Jaden doesn't need glasses. She prescribed some eye drops for allergy. Phew!

And she told us to come back in 6 months' time and make sure that I teach Jaden alphabets by then! Lazy bugger! Less work I guess! Jaden may not be able to tell the doc accurately but he certainly knows his alphabets!

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Jaden's Playgroup

After attending Children's Vital Years Nursery for 2 days, we decided to pull Jaden out of the school. Even though he showed a keen interest to go to school in the morning, apparently, during school, he couldn't really take instructions from his teachers and he ended up crying uncontrollably. Well, I guess he wasn't ready for school.

Yesterday, being FT day, brought the lil boy to a church playgroup in PJ. And the lil boy enjoyed himself tremendously, Also the fact that I was with him, so no separation anxiety.

Jaden playing basketball in the play area. Was surprised to see 2 other mamas from DUMC with their kids - Jamie with Shawn and Audrey with Kimberly.

Snack time - Jaden with cousin Ethan

During coffee break time, the kids are encouraged to explore the different playrooms available and play independently while the parents rest and enjoy a cup of coffee and chit chat. Below Jaden is playing in the room full of cars and trucks.

The real test will be this Friday, when Jaden goes with Mah-Mah and Aunty Meli. Hopefully he'll adjust :)